Coffee, Football and reflection

So I admit my love hate relationship with football,men in tight pants 😉 and Coffee is the nectar of my morning. I find self-reflection a powerful tool in my life and work. I also know I am finding and refining my voice, perspective, and knowledge. I do this both in and out of the academic environment, in fact, I find academia a bit stifling to knowledge production which is nothing new or some brilliant insight. It is in plain sight the rules of progress, jump the hoops, get the letters, then write about how messed up that process is. I come to school as a late bloomer, I was the stoner kid who could not spell in high school and barley read a whole book, and became the first in my immediate family to graduate from college. I never felt that folks in school were any smarter than those that choose other routes, I had chosen the trade of carpenter, went to school for 4.5 years but always had my skills questioned (wrong kind of school). Anyway I digress, doing work around the body,race,gender,sex and state violence sometimes becomes a difficult place to find hope that things can change, I am changing which is good, but I am loosing hope that “We” are. I am not sure what to do sometimes, I think my style offends more people than I want to, but I also think us as white folks have a really hard time looking at ourselves, our part, and our work. I am not special, nor do I find myself feeling “better’ than others, I do believe I have a willingness to stay in the trenches and as the post yesterday pointed out, no-one needs to pat me on the back or feel grateful. I do wish that the understanding the we all have internal bias did not become a competition when discussing difference. Many smarter and gentler folks are doing this work, I am one doing the work, some times not so graceful, sometimes with humor, but always will the goal of healing. Trying to write about difference is hard, it is a skill I am in the process of getting better at, in some areas I must use the big words and in others not so much, this is hard translating theory into the everyday, not for some, but for me yes. I ask for patience, feedback and love. This is a life long process and self-reflection is not just navel gazing with out action, action is required when what was unseen or unknown becomes visible. More coffee is needed and the wonder dog needs a walk, blessings

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